Fear of Falling by S.L. Jennings
Synopsis:
I can’t remember the last time I felt completely safe. Security seemed
more like a luxury to me, reserved for those who were fortunate enough to have
picture perfect childhoods. For those who didn’t bear the ugly scars that keep
me bound in constant, debilitating fear. I’ve run from that fear my entire
life. But when I met him, for once, I couldn’t run anymore.
He scared the hell out of me in a way that excited every fiber of my
being. It wasn’t the tattoos or the piercings. It wasn’t the warmth that seemed
to radiate from his frame and blanket me whenever he was near. It was just…him.
The scary beautiful man that threatened to alter 23 years of routine and
rituals, and make me face my crippling fear.
My name is Kami and I am constantly afraid. And the thing that scares
me the most is the very thing I want.
***Inspired by true events***
Excerpt:
“Hey,” I smiled, stepping behind the bar and
tying the little black apron around my waist. Dive had just opened and was
completely empty aside from the day shift preparing for the lunch crowd.
Blaine turned from his task of refilling the
soda dispenser and crooked a grin. I could only describe it as polite, and that
fact tore me in two.
“Hey, Kami.” His deep chocolate eyes narrowed.
“You change your hair?”
I twirled a lock of my honey blonde highlighted mane
and shrugged. “Felt like I needed a change.” I didn’t have the guts to tell him
that it was really an attempt at bribery by Angel. She knew I was a whore for
spa days at the upscale salon she frequented and used my weakness to try to get
me to gush about my feelings for Blaine. It didn’t fully work as she intended
but I did throw her a bone: I told her I was attracted to him. It was harmless
enough. Even a 90 year old deaf and blind woman would have a raging lady boner
for him.
I didn’t try to stifle the blush that I could
feel heating my cheeks. I embraced it. It was the first time I had felt
anything but regret in days. “Yeah?”
“Hell yeah,” he said, closing the distance
between us in three long strides.
And there it was again. The smell of mint and
spice and pure male. The heat that seemed to roll off his body and enfold me
like a mink blanket. Those intense brown eyes that made me forget my own name
and had me imagining screaming out his. Him. It was all him. Blaine somehow
made me forget me. The me that wasn’t
allowed to feel all these beautiful, exciting things. The me that didn’t
believe in happy endings. The me that was unlovable, and in turn, could never,
ever love.
“You were sexy before…unbelievably so. But the
way the golden strands seem to meld with your green eyes, it just… wow. Makes
it hard to look at anything or anyone else.”
I sucked in a breath of air and let it out
slowly through my mouth, closing my eyes in attempt to regain some sense of
composure. “Blaine…” I couldn’t say anymore. His name, occupying my tongue like
his skin once did, was enough.
“I’m sorry,” he sputtered quickly, breaking me
from the sweet memories of tasting him. My eyes fluttered open to him looking
sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck with a tattooed hand. Shit, even that was sexy.
“I think I should explain.” He rolled the
barbell in his mouth before flashing me a strained grin. “I have this habit of
always saying how I feel, no matter how embarrassing it is. A long time ago, I
didn’t speak my mind. I didn’t ask the right questions because I was afraid of
the answers. And life shitted on me because I kept my mouth shut. So I vowed to
always be brutally honest and let the chips fall where they may. I’m sorry if
that makes you uncomfortable.”
I looked away, seeking refuge from his
penetrating stare. It didn’t make me uncomfortable. His words, his presence, it
made me anxious. It made that pesky flutter in my stomach evolve into a full on
swarm of butterflies.
“It doesn’t make me uncomfortable,” I replied,
speaking my truth. For once, I didn’t let fear suppress my first instinct. “But
you do make me nervous.”
“Nervous?” Blaine asked, crooking a brow.
“In a good way,” I quickly recovered. Shit. Real smooth.
Blaine chuckled, and that fascinating sound
chipped at the wall around my forgotten heart. “I wasn’t aware there was a good
kinda nervous. But I’ll take it. Anything to see your cheeks get pink like
that. You have no idea how it makes me feel when that happens.”
Speechless. I was rendered completely speechless
and my cheeks had taken on a life of their own and complied with his wishes.
The smile that spread across Blaine’s lips as he took in my reddened face was
undeniable and I suddenly felt completely stripped bare before him. I just
wanted to cover myself and hide. But Blaine wasn’t having that. Before my
nerves sent me cowering in a corner, his head dipped, placing his lips at my
earlobe.
“I know you said you don’t feel anything,” he
whispered. “But can you honestly say that you don’t feel this? That this heat, this attraction, is all in my head? Don’t
think about it; just answer. Tell me what your heart wants to say and not what
your head keeps trying to make you believe.”
Bio:
Most known for her starring role in a popular
sitcom as a child, S.L. Jennings went on to earn her law degree from Harvard at
the young age of 16. While studying for the bar exam and recording her debut
hit album, she also won the Nobel Prize for her groundbreaking invention of
calorie-free wine. When she isn’t conquering the seas in her yacht or flying
her Gulfstream, she likes to spin elaborate webs of lies and has even
documented a few of these said falsehoods.
Some of S.L.’s devious lies:
THE DARK LIGHT SERIES
Dark Light
The Dark Prince
Light Shadows (Fall 2013)
FEAR OF FALLING- July 18th, 2013
Meet the Liar:
authorsljennings.wordpress.com
Twitter: @MrsSLJ
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/SLJennings
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